Monday, January 16, 2012

The Gift of a Blog Post

There are many blog posts that I read in my travels that have great information, a funny story or a thought provoking viewpoint.  But every once in awhile, there is some posts that are written TO me.  FOR ME.. and about what is in my heart.  A blog post over at Momastery the other day is one such post.  I only recently came across this blog through a good friend posting a link on facebook.  There have been quite a few gems in just a week or so (I haven't even had a chance to read her archives!).  In fact, I even took the time to read a few posts to Chief - again, some were thought provoking and some funny.  But the post the other day, was FOR ME at exactly the right moment.  To read "my" post, go here.

I have written about Little Man's struggles many times.  I know logically in my head that he is wonderfully made and it is the world that needs to adjust.  But, is has been a struggle for me to really believe that... deep down.  That is hard to admit.  I know there are many kids who struggle much more than my son.  I feel a little selfish and dramatic feeling what I do at times and saying how hard it it.  But it is.  I have parented two other kids who are "model" children.  So in contract, Little Man's challenges are big to me.  They are difficult and they are embarrassing.  

Glennon's post said everything I have been feeling so beautifully.  Here are a few excerpts:

"Every child is gifted and talented. Every single one. "   

"... if we are patient and calm... and we keep believing, we will eventually see the specific magic of each child."

"We have to actually believe that our kids are okay.

I know. Tough. But we can do it. We can start believing by erasing the idea that education is a race. It’s not. Actually, education is like Christmas. We’re all just opening our gifts, one at a time. And it is a fact that each and every child has a bright shiny present with her name on it, waiting there underneath the tree. God wrapped it up, and He’ll let us know when it’s time to unwrap it. In the meantime, we must believe that our children are okay. Every last one of them. The perfect ones and the naughty ones and the chunky ones and the shy ones and the loud ones and the so far behind ones and the ones with autism.

Because here’s what I believe. I think a child can survive a teacher or other children accidentally suggesting that he’s not okay. As long as when he comes home, he looks at his mama and knows by her face that he really is."
Having just received the official ADHD diagnosis, I have been thinking a lot about shifting my mind set.  Little Man is not TRYING to be naughty, defiant or difficult.  He wants to have friends and please us and his teacher.  I am thankful that he is young enough to not realize the impact of his struggles on others and himself.  We are praying we can help him learn to manage himself before he sees things clearly and how his behavior impacts him socially and academically.  
I want him to know he is okay... deep in his soul.  And that starts with me believing, deep in my soul that he is okay and will be okay.  
I pray that he knows he is okay... no matter what he does or says.  He has so many things to show the world.  It is my hope and prayer that he and I can say to the world some day "told you so."  

Monday, January 9, 2012

Time Does Fly!

Well, that was an unplanned break!  I can not believe over a month has gone since I last posted.  Honestly, I had lots of thoughts to write down last month.  I think I even sat down a few times to start a post and then got pulled away for some reason.  But, time does fly, especially when you are not looking...

So I am going to resort to a good old bullet type list to catch this blog up to date:

1.  I am back to working one morning a week.  My "free" time without kids last month was taken up with Christmas stuff - gift buying, trip planning and other such stuff.  It has been a very good thing to be home more again.  I think everyone is happier (except maybe the bank account).  I feel more like myself again.

Now that the New Year is here, I am trying to get a groove going.  I don't want to waste time.  I want to be intentional.  I need to focus on adding some more work to my schedule (consulting and/or some other avenue), but I am looking for a flexible from home set up.  Our family needs me home.  That is one thing I know.  

2.  We spent Christmas in Sunriver - just the five of us.  It was heaven!  We love our extended families to death.  We all get along, don't fight or have much underlying tension I hear some families have.  We have a good time playing games, eating and all that fun stuff.  But we have either hosted family or traveled (and all the house hopping that entails) every Christmas our ENTIRE marriage.  We have never had Christmas morning with just us.  It was waaaayyyy overdue.

We ate easy meals, I read a whole book in three days, the kids ran around and did what they wanted without too much correction from us to settle down, we went on bike rides, walks (hmmm, yah… there was NO snow!!!  I am still ticked about that), went in the hot tub and just enjoyed being together with no schedule or food to have done at a certain time.  It was a much needed refresher for our family.

3.  Lizard is starting speech intervention at school this week.  The crazy kid sounds like she is from Boston.  She was in early intervention for speech articulation in preschool.  When she was tested in Kindergarten, she did not "qualify" for intervention.  We have however, been watching her "R" sounds for quite awhile and while they were better in Kindergarten, they have slowly gotten worse over the years.  She is excited about fixing her sound.  Poor thing was upset about getting assigned the number "four" jersey in basketball.  She was upset that she would have tell people she was "four" and not be able to say it right because of her "R" sound.

4.  Soccer Girl is doing great in school.  She made honor roll!  Oh my...  The middle school drama.  She is not actually "in" the drama, but is having a great time telling me all about it… who likes who, who does what, who has changed, who she thinks is headed for trouble and all that.  She said to me after her first day back at school from break, "Mom, big news at school.  So and So (name removed to protect the innocent) got her eyebrows fixed."  Oh my, to be twelve!  She has been very open with us about the one boy (who she has know since Kindergarten) who likes her.  He is a good kid and very nice so I am not too worried… at least so far.

It is interesting how the boy thing works now days.  Texting has added a whole new level of communication between young kids.  When I was twelve, a boy had to get up the nerve and call you.  Now, they can just text you… at 10 o'clock at night.  Heaven help us!

5.  Little Man.  While there are times I could just eat him because he is so sweet and kind, there are other times, I could ring his neck.  We met with his teacher in December and received some sobering information, not surprising... but sobering nonetheless.  And, we have begun working with a psychologist.  She has diagnosed him with ADHD - hyperactive/impulsive.  We are not surprised since we have had so many issues for so long, but we don't believe it to some extent because the questionnaires we completed are just a snap shot in time.  And he does not "look" like the typical ADHD kid who hangs from the rafters.  But, any "diagnosis" for your child is hard to accept, I guess.  So we are starting our journey… I will obviously post more as we learn more and work out a plan.

6.  I turned 44.  Neat.

That, I think, are the highlights of the last month.  I am glad to ring in a new year with all the possibilities.