Tuesday, June 8, 2010

What is Happening?

My Little Man has been in big boy underwear one week as of tonight! He just kind of started on his own last Tuesday evening and I looked at my schedule and thought let’s go for it. I was able to be home for the most part for 6 days straight before he had to go back to the babysitter today.

He has done so well! I am so proud of him. He still is having some accidents (mostly with the whole poop thing, sigh…). But, for the most part, he is holding it for long stretches of time and gets himself there. Since he is so stubborn, I figured it would take much longer for him to get it. We are not out of the woods for sure, but we are well on our way. Well done, my Big Boy!

I so want him potty trained, but am sad that my diapering days are pretty much behind me. I love the crinkle sound of the diaper when my little ones toddle by and the smell of Desitin, oh man, I love it. I joked with Chief that I might just buy some so I can smell it when I need a baby fix.

The remodel is done… Soccer Girl is in her own room and Lizard has her own room back! Their rooms are painted and they love having their OWN space. They have asked to sleep with each other many more times than I expected already. Maybe somewhere beneath all the bickering, they will truly be friends.

Chief’s new job is going well. He is able to work from home quite a bit which has been great, but also required some adjustment on our part. I think the best part is that he is not being micro-managed and trusted to do his job. I can see his confidence returning and he is so much happier. I am so happy for him.

Summer vacation starts next week. I am looking forward to the more relaxed schedule, but also know that causes trouble for us. I am going to do my best to have a plan each day. We need a focus and activities to keep everyone from getting on each other’s nerves. It will be a challenge to keep all three entertained as what is exciting to a 3 year old is not so much to a 10 year old or even a 7 year old. But, I will do my best.

I am going to start looking for another part time job to hopefully add to or if need be replace my current jobs. We have long wanted some more financial breathing room each month and have finally decided that I need to earn some more income to do that. The trick now is what to look for… I do not want to be tied to a job 9-5, commute and all that – never again! I want to be home when the kids get home, I want to hear about their day first hand, and most important, know the teachers and their friends and their parents, etc. The trick is that I do not know what I want to do so it is hard to even look. I do not want to HR any more. After 20 years, I am done with it. I want something from home ideally that allows me the flexibility to be home when my babies get home.

I am struggling (or probably more accurately dragging my feet) with the idea of working more. I haven’t really pin-pointed why yet. It is not because I don’t want people to know we need more financial flow each month – I could careless about that – I am putting it on the internet for Pete’s sake. I think it is the idea of not being home for my kids and the perception that I have failed them somehow. I really don’t know. I have always worked either part time or full time. I do not have an issue with putting my kids in childcare; I honestly think it is good for them. I also know that I am not the best stay at home mom. I frustrate easily and am bored. How can someone not be good at being with their kids? That could be a big part of it too.

I want so much for us to have some extra to do things (not a lot of extra, just a little bit) – like a vacation, like proper repairs on the house or upgrades. Most of our “vacations” are typically visiting family and while that is wonderful, it does not create family memories for the five of us. It is not an experience that the kids will remember and look back on. While I am not a “keep up with the Jones” type of person, it is hard at times when friends or family are renting houseboats for a week in the summer or re-doing their floors. I am not judging anyone on how or why they spend their money. It would just be nice for us to have the freedom to do some of those things without going into debt to do them and being able to keep my current schedule. I guess it is just hard to swallow that it will not happen.

My struggle continues and my half-hearted search continues…maybe the perfect job will land in my lap tomorrow? I just hope I recognize it when it lands.

So that is the update around here and my record of what is happening at this time for my little family.

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