Friday, June 3, 2011

On Guard

A few weeks back I was talking to someone about the divorce statistic like one in five couples end up in divorce.  Don’t quote me on the statistic, I haven’t Googled it or anything; but it is something like that.  I said you look around our neighborhood and of the 70 or so homes; divorce has had to impact some of them.  At the time, I didn’t know of anyone.  I speculated in my mind who might be “one” of the five (purely based on rumor or speculation).  Well yesterday, the “one” was identified.  A neighbor’s house around the corner had a new For Sale sign out front.  Another neighbor’s daughter happened to be in the car with us when we saw the sign.  When I commented on the sign, she said they were getting a divorce (according to her mother who knows the family).  What a life changing event.  The mom has gone back to work, the kids have lost their stablility, the Dad is not involved on a day to day basis… now they are losing their family home.  I do not know them well other then an occasion wave or quick conversation.  But, my heart just aches for the two of them and their kids. 

Just yesterday I ran into another statistic on the internet that about 65% of divorces are not the plate throwing messy splits your read about.  That 65% of divorces are because the couple just fell out of love, had a mediocre marriage or just drifted apart and wanted different things. 

These few promptings really have put on me how much I need to guard my own marriage.  Chief and I have a wonderful marriage.  He is my best friend and can make me laugh like no one else.  We work well together… we can bounce ideas off each other and usually come up with a good plan.  My heart still skips when I think of him; not every time (heck we have been married for 14 years), but it does still skip!  But, with the busyness of life, I think we take for granted how well we like each other and we take for granted that we will always like each other.  If we do not guard against the distractions of the world, we could wake up to find we are the “one in five”; not the plate throwers (I will want to take my dishes with me!), but one of the 65% that just drifted apart. 

Disclaimer:  Our marriage is not in trouble!  Please don’t read this as a foreshadowing of an impending divorce.  Far from it.  We have a wonderful relationship… not without bumps like any marriage… but a wonderful one.  This has just got me thinking that divorce could happen to anyone (even to those that say divorce is not an option) if you do not guard yourselves and your relationship.

Ok back to my thoughts… So as Chief and I celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary in a few days, I am going to guard my marriage.  I am going to protect what we have.  I am going to put our relationship on the top of the list and I am going to edit things out to be able to do that.  My marriage is a precious gift to me.  I love you Chief. 

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