A friend posted “be still” on Facebook yesterday. I so needed to hear that. “Be still, and know that I am God…” Palms 46:10
What does that mean really? To me, it means shut up and let God worry about it. To me it means, I can worry all I want, but it won’t change the plan. It means that I have yet to fully believe God has it handled.
I have been feeling overwhelmed, inadequate and just plain tired. I basically feel like I am not doing anything very well. Negative thoughts run through my head and I have a “poor me, look how hard I have it” attitude that is spilling out to my family in a not so nice way. I worry that my kids will hate me… how to manage Lizard’s six month gluten free diet… that my husband will finally chuck me to the curb because I can’t seem to get it together… that Little Man will stop asking me to play with him if I tell him too many times “not right now”… that my house will crumble around us because we do not ever do the maintenance you should do on an eight year old house… and Soccer Girl needs braces… and Lizard has a cavity… I need a crown and probably carpal tunnel surgery… hmmm, can I just get off the ride for awhile? I am physically tired, I mean really tired. My brain can’t do it all.
How do people do it? How can they be still? How do you actually turn your worries over to God. My problems are minor in comparison to what some go through. It should be easy for me to be still. But it is not. It feels like I should just handle my own woes myself and quit bellying aching to God; God should spend his time on those with the big things (cancer, death, no food to eat). But, I know that is not what God wants or what the bible says.
So I will continue to work on being still. Our women's retreat is coming up in April. Guess what the theme is?… Being still.