Wednesday, March 2, 2011

I Do Not Need the Pressure

So Little Man had a rough day yesterday… so rough I had to sign an incident report for four separate situations… not one or two, but four.  All in one day.  Neat.

He was apparently so excited over certain activities, he pushed a friend over, flat on their back with feet in the air… three times.  No reason other than he was excited and could not control his hands.  And then he and another child were having issues… the other little guy was hitting and my Little Man was mad and threw a chair at the other kid.  Fabulous.

His teacher had the appropriate discussion with him, I spoke to his teacher about what happened and we talked to Little Man about what he did as well.  Several times, I might add.  We reminded him this morning about being kind, keeping our hands to ourselves and all the stuff you are suppose to teach your kids.

When I picked Drew up today from school, in his backpack was an apology letter from his friend that hit him telling Little Man he was sorry for hitting and that he would keep his hands to himself.  It was obviously written by the child's parent, but Little Man's friend did sign his name.

Apology letters are a great learning tool.  Even my girls have written a few in their day.  At first, I felt horrible that I did not have Little Man "write" a note to his friend… throwing a chair could be viewed as worse than hitting.  Then I thought about it and decided that apology notes in preschool are over the top.  The whole point of an apology note is the learning moment for the child and for them to understand how their actions impact others.  While it does also serve as a notice to the other parent that the offending act has not been sweep under the mat, it is the child's apology, not mine.  Honestly, I think for 3-4 year olds, the point is lost.

So while I maybe should have done more to demonstrate to other parent it has been addressed, he is in preschool for pete's sake.  It seems like society is pushing things on kids younger and younger.  Your child better show up to kindergarten KNOWING their letters or your child is considered behind.  Your 3.5 year old had better sit quietly while watching his sister swim or you get the eye rolling and whispers.  You better expose your kids to every sport known to man and push them hard at a young age or they will not get a college scholarship.  

I have high expectations of my kids and push them to be the best little people they can be, but frankly, I do not need the pressure and neither do my kids.  I am confident Little Man will be writing his fair share of apology letters.  But I will ensure he writes the note and means it, not me.


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