The two memory verses for March are:
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Romans 3:23-24
The Lord is my chosen portion, and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. Palms 16:5-6
I have not memorized them yet. Since it is nearing the end of March, I'd better get going. I am proud to say I still have February's verses memorized. Our March GNO is on Tuesday… I need a drink so I'd better get to memorizing!
Friday, March 25, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
The Invisible Women
That is exactly what has been gnawing at me. I feel invisible. I have labeled it lately to Chief as feeling ignored… invisible.
Nicole Johnson is an author, performer and motivational speaker. She creates skits to portray women and their struggles and challenges. I saw her once at the Women of Faith conference and she was wonderful. While I did not see this skit in person, I have seen it in the past and it resonated with me then. But, I it just resonated with me big time. I know it is not a coincidence I ran into it again now. Take six minutes and watch.
Where I have steered off the path is that I should not expect thanks. It is not my children’s job to pat me on the back and say thanks for doing their laundry. It is my job let them know in everything I do that they are loved no matter what, regardless of the thanks or acknowledgement I get. My selfishness will not accomplish that. My responsibility is to build the best people I can… build the character of these little people entrusted to me… all without thanks, acknowledgment or atta boys.
On Nicole’s website freshbrewedlife.com and in the video, she speaks of a book about the great cathedrals. After reading the book the following four life-changing truths emerged and after which she would pattern her work [of raising children]:
1. No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no records of their names
2. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished
3. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit
4. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything
She goes on to say “As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, [but] at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.”
I do not want a record of what I have done and I do not want credit. I want my kids to come home.
Nicole Johnson is an author, performer and motivational speaker. She creates skits to portray women and their struggles and challenges. I saw her once at the Women of Faith conference and she was wonderful. While I did not see this skit in person, I have seen it in the past and it resonated with me then. But, I it just resonated with me big time. I know it is not a coincidence I ran into it again now. Take six minutes and watch.
I have wanted acknowledgement that raising three kids is hard and I am underappreciated. It is a great sacrifice to be a parent. It is an honor to be my children’s mother. And, yes it is underappreciated in the day to day moments of mothering. It is a thankless job. I think intellectually most people know these things when they become a parent. Any parent would sacrifice their life for their child. What is difficult is how that sacrifice plays out in the day to day walk of everyday life… the homework monitoring, the struggle to clean the house, the soccer practice routine, the paper hoarding of a seven year old, and the dents in the wall from thrown toys.
Where I have steered off the path is that I should not expect thanks. It is not my children’s job to pat me on the back and say thanks for doing their laundry. It is my job let them know in everything I do that they are loved no matter what, regardless of the thanks or acknowledgement I get. My selfishness will not accomplish that. My responsibility is to build the best people I can… build the character of these little people entrusted to me… all without thanks, acknowledgment or atta boys.
On Nicole’s website freshbrewedlife.com and in the video, she speaks of a book about the great cathedrals. After reading the book the following four life-changing truths emerged and after which she would pattern her work [of raising children]:
1. No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no records of their names
2. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished
3. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit
4. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything
She goes on to say “As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, [but] at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.”
I do not want a record of what I have done and I do not want credit. I want my kids to come home.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Are Socks Really That Good?
The other morning when I went to let the dog out of the garage and give him his breakfast, I noticed Boomer had thrown up. When I scanned the garage I noticed TWO adult size socks wadded up amongst some other throw up. The dumb dog ate two socks! Really? What possess a dog to eat socks? It is not like they are flavorful meaty tidbits. They are dry and most likely covered in dog hair since they were left in the garage. Gross.
Thankfully he threw them up before they got caught in his intestines. And he happily ate his breakfast. But, I can only hope that there is nothing else lurking in his belly that would force us to go to the vet. This is the same dog that had to have ear surgery twice last summer for a hematoma (swelling in the floppy part of his ear)… both of which did not correct the problem. He now has one ear that is shorter than the other and if you feel the tip of the ear, it is rock hard from “cauliflower ear”… but with his fur covering the ear, most people don’t notice. It honestly makes him cuter since he is a little lopsided.
I have joked with people that he exhausted his lifetime emergency vet care budget with the ear escaped last summer. I am joking, but what would we really do it he did needed surgery to removed socks from his belly? I honestly don’t know. With pets come responsibility, I know. But if I have to choose between my oldest daughter having braces, gluten-free food for Lizard and seeing a specialist for Little Man, or getting surgery for the dog…I will choose my kids. So Boomer, please don't eat anything else, ok?
Thankfully he threw them up before they got caught in his intestines. And he happily ate his breakfast. But, I can only hope that there is nothing else lurking in his belly that would force us to go to the vet. This is the same dog that had to have ear surgery twice last summer for a hematoma (swelling in the floppy part of his ear)… both of which did not correct the problem. He now has one ear that is shorter than the other and if you feel the tip of the ear, it is rock hard from “cauliflower ear”… but with his fur covering the ear, most people don’t notice. It honestly makes him cuter since he is a little lopsided.
I have joked with people that he exhausted his lifetime emergency vet care budget with the ear escaped last summer. I am joking, but what would we really do it he did needed surgery to removed socks from his belly? I honestly don’t know. With pets come responsibility, I know. But if I have to choose between my oldest daughter having braces, gluten-free food for Lizard and seeing a specialist for Little Man, or getting surgery for the dog…I will choose my kids. So Boomer, please don't eat anything else, ok?
Thursday, March 10, 2011
School Fuel - Yum!
A friend of mine who's son is on a gluten free diet shared this recipe with me. Yummy!! Even if you do not have to be on gluten free diet (which we are for Lizard's tummy issues) these are worth making.
Chex School Fuel (Gluten Free)
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
6 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons light corn syrup
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
4 cups Corn Chex cereal
4 cups Rice Chex cereal
1/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips
I used a combo of Chex Cinnamon cereal and Chex Honey Nut cereal. My friend adds in Chex Chocolate cereal too!
Cover a cookie sheet with max paper. In large microwavable bowl, microwave brown sugar, butter and corn syrup uncovered for High for 1-2 minutes, stirring after 1 minute, until melted and smooth. Sir in baking soda until dissolved. Stir in cereal.
Microwave on High 3 minutes, stirring each minute Spread on cookie sheet to cool, about 10 minutes. Break into bite-size pieces.
In microwaveable bowl, microwave chocolate chips uncovered on High about 1.5 minutes or until chocolate can be stirred smooth. Drizzle chocolate over snack. Refrigerate about 30 minutes or until chocolate is set. Store in airtight container.
Chex School Fuel (Gluten Free)
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
6 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons light corn syrup
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
4 cups Corn Chex cereal
4 cups Rice Chex cereal
1/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips
I used a combo of Chex Cinnamon cereal and Chex Honey Nut cereal. My friend adds in Chex Chocolate cereal too!
Cover a cookie sheet with max paper. In large microwavable bowl, microwave brown sugar, butter and corn syrup uncovered for High for 1-2 minutes, stirring after 1 minute, until melted and smooth. Sir in baking soda until dissolved. Stir in cereal.
Microwave on High 3 minutes, stirring each minute Spread on cookie sheet to cool, about 10 minutes. Break into bite-size pieces.
In microwaveable bowl, microwave chocolate chips uncovered on High about 1.5 minutes or until chocolate can be stirred smooth. Drizzle chocolate over snack. Refrigerate about 30 minutes or until chocolate is set. Store in airtight container.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Be Still
A friend posted “be still” on Facebook yesterday. I so needed to hear that. “Be still, and know that I am God…” Palms 46:10
What does that mean really? To me, it means shut up and let God worry about it. To me it means, I can worry all I want, but it won’t change the plan. It means that I have yet to fully believe God has it handled.
I have been feeling overwhelmed, inadequate and just plain tired. I basically feel like I am not doing anything very well. Negative thoughts run through my head and I have a “poor me, look how hard I have it” attitude that is spilling out to my family in a not so nice way. I worry that my kids will hate me… how to manage Lizard’s six month gluten free diet… that my husband will finally chuck me to the curb because I can’t seem to get it together… that Little Man will stop asking me to play with him if I tell him too many times “not right now”… that my house will crumble around us because we do not ever do the maintenance you should do on an eight year old house… and Soccer Girl needs braces… and Lizard has a cavity… I need a crown and probably carpal tunnel surgery… hmmm, can I just get off the ride for awhile? I am physically tired, I mean really tired. My brain can’t do it all.
How do people do it? How can they be still? How do you actually turn your worries over to God. My problems are minor in comparison to what some go through. It should be easy for me to be still. But it is not. It feels like I should just handle my own woes myself and quit bellying aching to God; God should spend his time on those with the big things (cancer, death, no food to eat). But, I know that is not what God wants or what the bible says.
So I will continue to work on being still. Our women's retreat is coming up in April. Guess what the theme is?… Being still.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
I Do Not Need the Pressure
So Little Man had a rough day yesterday… so rough I had to sign an incident report for four separate situations… not one or two, but four. All in one day. Neat.
He was apparently so excited over certain activities, he pushed a friend over, flat on their back with feet in the air… three times. No reason other than he was excited and could not control his hands. And then he and another child were having issues… the other little guy was hitting and my Little Man was mad and threw a chair at the other kid. Fabulous.
His teacher had the appropriate discussion with him, I spoke to his teacher about what happened and we talked to Little Man about what he did as well. Several times, I might add. We reminded him this morning about being kind, keeping our hands to ourselves and all the stuff you are suppose to teach your kids.
When I picked Drew up today from school, in his backpack was an apology letter from his friend that hit him telling Little Man he was sorry for hitting and that he would keep his hands to himself. It was obviously written by the child's parent, but Little Man's friend did sign his name.
Apology letters are a great learning tool. Even my girls have written a few in their day. At first, I felt horrible that I did not have Little Man "write" a note to his friend… throwing a chair could be viewed as worse than hitting. Then I thought about it and decided that apology notes in preschool are over the top. The whole point of an apology note is the learning moment for the child and for them to understand how their actions impact others. While it does also serve as a notice to the other parent that the offending act has not been sweep under the mat, it is the child's apology, not mine. Honestly, I think for 3-4 year olds, the point is lost.
So while I maybe should have done more to demonstrate to other parent it has been addressed, he is in preschool for pete's sake. It seems like society is pushing things on kids younger and younger. Your child better show up to kindergarten KNOWING their letters or your child is considered behind. Your 3.5 year old had better sit quietly while watching his sister swim or you get the eye rolling and whispers. You better expose your kids to every sport known to man and push them hard at a young age or they will not get a college scholarship.
I have high expectations of my kids and push them to be the best little people they can be, but frankly, I do not need the pressure and neither do my kids. I am confident Little Man will be writing his fair share of apology letters. But I will ensure he writes the note and means it, not me.
He was apparently so excited over certain activities, he pushed a friend over, flat on their back with feet in the air… three times. No reason other than he was excited and could not control his hands. And then he and another child were having issues… the other little guy was hitting and my Little Man was mad and threw a chair at the other kid. Fabulous.
His teacher had the appropriate discussion with him, I spoke to his teacher about what happened and we talked to Little Man about what he did as well. Several times, I might add. We reminded him this morning about being kind, keeping our hands to ourselves and all the stuff you are suppose to teach your kids.
When I picked Drew up today from school, in his backpack was an apology letter from his friend that hit him telling Little Man he was sorry for hitting and that he would keep his hands to himself. It was obviously written by the child's parent, but Little Man's friend did sign his name.
Apology letters are a great learning tool. Even my girls have written a few in their day. At first, I felt horrible that I did not have Little Man "write" a note to his friend… throwing a chair could be viewed as worse than hitting. Then I thought about it and decided that apology notes in preschool are over the top. The whole point of an apology note is the learning moment for the child and for them to understand how their actions impact others. While it does also serve as a notice to the other parent that the offending act has not been sweep under the mat, it is the child's apology, not mine. Honestly, I think for 3-4 year olds, the point is lost.
So while I maybe should have done more to demonstrate to other parent it has been addressed, he is in preschool for pete's sake. It seems like society is pushing things on kids younger and younger. Your child better show up to kindergarten KNOWING their letters or your child is considered behind. Your 3.5 year old had better sit quietly while watching his sister swim or you get the eye rolling and whispers. You better expose your kids to every sport known to man and push them hard at a young age or they will not get a college scholarship.
I have high expectations of my kids and push them to be the best little people they can be, but frankly, I do not need the pressure and neither do my kids. I am confident Little Man will be writing his fair share of apology letters. But I will ensure he writes the note and means it, not me.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Memory Verses #1
Therefore, As God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:12-13
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:18
These are the two memory verses I am tackling for 2011. Pretty good ones, I'd say. A dear friend of mine, J, and I are learning them together. J always challenges me to grown, learn and dig deeper. What's amazing about her is she is not judgemental in any way. If I show up next week and do not have them memorized, J won't judge me. She may razz me, actually I know she will. But she will never judge. She will question me about why I didn't memorize them… digging to help uncover what lies beneath the excuses I use. Her questions would only be to help me grow and to problem solve why I could not or did not get them committed to memory. How could you not love a friend like that?
These are the two memory verses I am tackling for 2011. Pretty good ones, I'd say. A dear friend of mine, J, and I are learning them together. J always challenges me to grown, learn and dig deeper. What's amazing about her is she is not judgemental in any way. If I show up next week and do not have them memorized, J won't judge me. She may razz me, actually I know she will. But she will never judge. She will question me about why I didn't memorize them… digging to help uncover what lies beneath the excuses I use. Her questions would only be to help me grow and to problem solve why I could not or did not get them committed to memory. How could you not love a friend like that?
We both have a running list of verses we would like to memorize. I cam e with my list and J had hers. My list was focused on ones that help me live my daily life; kind of reminders for living a Godly life. Her list was more biblical truths or the basics of the bible. God's truth. I thought the differences in our list was very interesting. She suggested learning some of the verses that are basic biblical truth, such as "For God so loved the work, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16). She said you want to know those so if all the entire bibles in the world were taken away, I would still have the basics of my faith. I never thought of memorizing verses that way. I like the idea that the truths will be "deep-rooted" in me. That is a faith challenge few could ignore. Yes… my friend rocks!
And I think some of the ladies from our GNO group might join us in memorizing verses this year as well. We read though the bible last year, so why not memorize verses together too. J thought is could be the "ticket" to allow us to attend the monthly GNO… no verse memorized = no entrance! How is that for accountability? Everyone would be able to attend of course, we are not that hard core, but the pressure just might keep me accountable.
So I will posting my memory verses as I tackle them as a record of what ones I have done. This will a place for me ponder that I have memorized, why the verse was important to me or J and what I have learned.
Maybe my slogan for 2011 should be "Will Memorize for Wine!" LOL
Friday, February 11, 2011
God's Big Screen
A friend posted something on Facebook the other day about how we should live our lives as if we were movie stars with God as the paparazzi. Now there is a thought. One could argue that movie stars are not always the model citizens or ones that we should look to pattern our lives after. But if I lived my life like someone was always watching my actions, how would I behave differently?
Then someone commented on my friend's Facebook post, "The sad and scary truth is that we will all be shown the DVDs of our sins. I guarantee as fun as they "seemed" to be the first time around, [they] sure won't look as pretty on God's giant screen." Wow. I immediately thought of that scene in Monsters Inc. when Sully saw a video of himself scaring a child. He was shocked at how he appeared and what he was showing the world…. something completely opposite of his true self.
I feel that way. If my life where played for me on a big screen would I be shocked? I think I would be. What would I look like when I discipline my kids? What would I look like when I think I am so busy, I can't remember to send a note to a friend who has been on my mind? What would I look like when I make a choice out of convenience instead of out of pure service to another?
That comment about God's big screen hit me between the eyes. Someone is always watching me - God. He knows my motives, the thoughts running through my head. I have to say, I would not be proud to sit next to God and watch some of the things that play on my DVD.
Awhile back, I ran across a YouTube video by Francis Chan, that speaks to the idea. What will God say when I am standing before him?
Then someone commented on my friend's Facebook post, "The sad and scary truth is that we will all be shown the DVDs of our sins. I guarantee as fun as they "seemed" to be the first time around, [they] sure won't look as pretty on God's giant screen." Wow. I immediately thought of that scene in Monsters Inc. when Sully saw a video of himself scaring a child. He was shocked at how he appeared and what he was showing the world…. something completely opposite of his true self.
I feel that way. If my life where played for me on a big screen would I be shocked? I think I would be. What would I look like when I discipline my kids? What would I look like when I think I am so busy, I can't remember to send a note to a friend who has been on my mind? What would I look like when I make a choice out of convenience instead of out of pure service to another?
That comment about God's big screen hit me between the eyes. Someone is always watching me - God. He knows my motives, the thoughts running through my head. I have to say, I would not be proud to sit next to God and watch some of the things that play on my DVD.
Awhile back, I ran across a YouTube video by Francis Chan, that speaks to the idea. What will God say when I am standing before him?
I know God is trying to hammer an idea home to me. I have learned that when the same idea, verse, book suggestion or thoughts come up again and again, He is telling me something. I am listening.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
My Walk
Last week while surfing some of the blogs I follow, I came across a story of a 38 year old women in Denver, Joanne, who had a massive stroke. Her nine year old daughter found her. She is just now starting to come off the drugs that have kept her in a deep coma (essentially no brain activity) to help keep the swelling down in her brain (she also endured surgery to remove part of her skull to alleviate the pressure). Her husband has been posting on her blog. Her future is uncertain and they have no idea of the extent of her brain damage.
I have never read her blog before this. From reading through her posts, I am sorry I did not discover her sooner. I think I would have really enjoyed getting to "know" her through her writing. She seems to be a honest writer, loves Jesus and her kids. She seems to have a sense of humor and from her pictures, seems alive. She has written a few books so I just might have to add one or two to my 2011 reading list.
I have read about other heartbreaking events through the blogging world. Things that make you stop in your tracks and give thanks to God for the blessings in my life. But for some reason, I can not seem to stop thinking about her and what her family… her two young girls (9 and 12) and her husband must be going through. I can not imagine the emotional struggle they must be enduring. For some reason her story has hit a cord with me.
It is her age. 38. 38. That is five years younger than me. It is her girls. I have two of my own, not far from her daughter's ages. It is the suddenness. One minute she is running on her treadmill and the next minute her life has been forever changed. It is the sadness for her girls for the Mom they knew that is possibly gone forever, while still being here physically. It is an incredible sympathy for her husband and how his life partner was suddenly taken from him. It is all those things and probably lots more.
It has really made me think. How would I handle such an event? Are our "affairs" in order so that Chief could handle the day to day home management easily? I have heard more than once, that it is the logistics of a tragedy that are often the hardest to get a handle on intitially… What bills need to be paid? Where are the bills? What is the doctor's phone numbers? Does Chief have our friends phone numbers to call in an emergency to help with the kids? Where is our will? Where are our medical directives? Are they still accurate?
The other thing that has struck me much deeper than that, is my walk with Christ. I do not know if I would grow closer to God or run in the opposite direction. I am afraid to admit, I think I would run… or at least a slow mental walk away from Him… I think. I think I would get so stuck on the "why" of it, I would not see past the hurt, emotion and loss.
Friends of ours were involved in a car accident five years ago. Their oldest daughter who had just turned seven died and her Mom, my friend, was severely injured. I turned closer to God at that time. The only thought I had was "there has to be some purpose for this" and only God could answer what that was. I still do not know and will never know until I reach heaven. It was during that time that I "cried" out to God to let my friend come back to her family. I was sitting in her hospital room watching her sleep, listening to the moans and cries for help of a patient down the hall. It was a short prayer in my head but so direct I remember exactly what I "said" to God. He heard me. That was the only time I have truly felt his presence. God was in that room with me. I have felt peace from God other times and said many heartfelt prayers, but that is the one time He was present with me.
That gives me some comfort to know that I was not angry with God in that situation. But, while I was close to my friend, I did not lose my daughter. I did not "lose" my husband to a massive stroke. I pray that if ever faced with something like that personally, I would feel God's presence. I am afraid that one never knows until you personally are in that situation. Joanne's husband wrote a very thought provoking post about this very subject that I think is worth reading. I pray that I could honestly write such a post if I were in his shoes.
Last spring during bible study there was a discussion on walking with God during the plateaus in your life so that when you are in a valley you turn to Him. I am not sure my daily walk would get me through the valleys, especially a long valley. I want it to.
My challenge is to grow in my relationship with God so I know without a doubt I would not run if tragedy struck. My challenge is to do the work it takes to be in a relationship, not just attending church. People have told me to write down the times you know God is working in your life so you can recall them when you are in the valley. Good advice. I guess a blog is a good place for that.
I have never read her blog before this. From reading through her posts, I am sorry I did not discover her sooner. I think I would have really enjoyed getting to "know" her through her writing. She seems to be a honest writer, loves Jesus and her kids. She seems to have a sense of humor and from her pictures, seems alive. She has written a few books so I just might have to add one or two to my 2011 reading list.
I have read about other heartbreaking events through the blogging world. Things that make you stop in your tracks and give thanks to God for the blessings in my life. But for some reason, I can not seem to stop thinking about her and what her family… her two young girls (9 and 12) and her husband must be going through. I can not imagine the emotional struggle they must be enduring. For some reason her story has hit a cord with me.
It is her age. 38. 38. That is five years younger than me. It is her girls. I have two of my own, not far from her daughter's ages. It is the suddenness. One minute she is running on her treadmill and the next minute her life has been forever changed. It is the sadness for her girls for the Mom they knew that is possibly gone forever, while still being here physically. It is an incredible sympathy for her husband and how his life partner was suddenly taken from him. It is all those things and probably lots more.
It has really made me think. How would I handle such an event? Are our "affairs" in order so that Chief could handle the day to day home management easily? I have heard more than once, that it is the logistics of a tragedy that are often the hardest to get a handle on intitially… What bills need to be paid? Where are the bills? What is the doctor's phone numbers? Does Chief have our friends phone numbers to call in an emergency to help with the kids? Where is our will? Where are our medical directives? Are they still accurate?
The other thing that has struck me much deeper than that, is my walk with Christ. I do not know if I would grow closer to God or run in the opposite direction. I am afraid to admit, I think I would run… or at least a slow mental walk away from Him… I think. I think I would get so stuck on the "why" of it, I would not see past the hurt, emotion and loss.
Friends of ours were involved in a car accident five years ago. Their oldest daughter who had just turned seven died and her Mom, my friend, was severely injured. I turned closer to God at that time. The only thought I had was "there has to be some purpose for this" and only God could answer what that was. I still do not know and will never know until I reach heaven. It was during that time that I "cried" out to God to let my friend come back to her family. I was sitting in her hospital room watching her sleep, listening to the moans and cries for help of a patient down the hall. It was a short prayer in my head but so direct I remember exactly what I "said" to God. He heard me. That was the only time I have truly felt his presence. God was in that room with me. I have felt peace from God other times and said many heartfelt prayers, but that is the one time He was present with me.
That gives me some comfort to know that I was not angry with God in that situation. But, while I was close to my friend, I did not lose my daughter. I did not "lose" my husband to a massive stroke. I pray that if ever faced with something like that personally, I would feel God's presence. I am afraid that one never knows until you personally are in that situation. Joanne's husband wrote a very thought provoking post about this very subject that I think is worth reading. I pray that I could honestly write such a post if I were in his shoes.
Last spring during bible study there was a discussion on walking with God during the plateaus in your life so that when you are in a valley you turn to Him. I am not sure my daily walk would get me through the valleys, especially a long valley. I want it to.
My challenge is to grow in my relationship with God so I know without a doubt I would not run if tragedy struck. My challenge is to do the work it takes to be in a relationship, not just attending church. People have told me to write down the times you know God is working in your life so you can recall them when you are in the valley. Good advice. I guess a blog is a good place for that.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Hello 2011
Another year is here… 2011. It is unbelievable how fast last year went. I really understand now how people would tell you how fast life will go by as you get older. They were not kidding.
2010 saw my oldest turn eleven and really hit the swing between being a kid and a young lady; my middle one now really reads and took a stand that she is not going to play soccer. And, my littlest guy started preschool with much more success that we anticipated. Chief was able to leave a horrible job that he had for 2.5 years and start one that he loves; and one where they appreciate his talents and expertise. I started another part time job to help ease the household budget. All in all it was a good year.
I am here to report I succeed in two of the three goals I set for 2010. I officially started my photography business. I had a great time photography families and loved doing five senior picture shoots. And, I guess I can say it is a full-fledged business since I got paid for all those jobs. I also accomplished reading the bible in a year, finishing at 8 p.m. on New Year’s Eve – nothing like a deadline to motivate me. I, however, failed miserably at losing 35 pounds. I guess two out of three is not bad.
My goals for 2011 are:
1. Get healthy. That involves losing weight for sure, but more important than that, is reclaiming some energy. Trying to be less crabby and more engaged in whatever I am doing. To me, that is healthy. I want to be a woman who glows from the inside; the one who is engage, active and healthy.
2. Learn to knit. My grandmother knit… a lot. She would make complicated fisherman knit sweaters and also knit little stocking caps to give to the nursery at her local community hospital. She always made red and green ones at Christmas time. That just makes me smile. I do not want to set the knitting world on fire, just learn a basic stitch or two.
3. Read more. My brain needs activity and I love to read. I just do not make time for it and it is kind of hard to get lost in a book when you hear “Mom” literally every 4.3 minutes. But I will try.
My oldest daughter discovered my first gray hair on December 31st and I discovered another one just this morning. What a way to ring in the new year, but at almost 43 (on Saturday!) I can not complain. I am definitely feeling older and more sentimental as time passes. I am just breathing in Little Man’s smell because his “being little” years are flying by. I can see our lives with teenagers, something I could not imagine a year or two ago. It is all good, but it is becoming crystal clear how important being engaged is to me and how important to be present in every moment.
So bring it on 2011 and may I remember these words every day and put them to practice.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
The Claws are Ready
I have been mulling this over in my brain for a few days so I decided to put it down. With Christmas season in full swing, the Christmas cards are arriving. It is wonderful to receive cards and greetings from friends down the street, far away friends and family friends from when we grew up.
One card we received had the usual greetings and well wishes. It also had some wonderful comments about the girls and how much of a pleasure they are. It also contained a comment about Little Man and how much of a challenge he is with the underlying message that he maybe is not as pleasant to be around. Knowing these people, I know logically the comment was benign and not meant to hurt… but it did, deeply.
My heart sunk with the thought that people have this view of my son. This is my underlying fear for Little Man… that people (family, friends, teachers, strangers) can not see past his behavior challenges to see the real soul that is there. He may not fit into everyone else's "proper little" 3.5 year old box, but that does not mean he should be written off or looked down on (or that we should be looked down on because we just can't seem to parent him properly to make him fit into some box or because someone thinks we have not taught him the word "no").
He is a soul that is smarter than most 3.5 year olds. He is a soul that is clever and funny. He is a soul that is very athletic. He is a soul that feels his emotions more than most. He is a soul that is strong in who he is. He is a soul that is not shy. He is a soul that is strong willed and stands by his position. He is a soul that cares for others. These are all qualities that most would argue will serve him well as an adult. I am learning as a parent that we should celebrate these characteristics instead of trying to squash them out of kids so they fit into some arbitrary box. My job as a parent is to create a box for him in today's society that fosters these qualities.
Little Man is a challenge, it is no secret. He has improved tremendously as he has gotten older. We are seeking expert advice in how to help him best. We are not idling sitting by watching and hoping things work out for the best. We are doing everything in our power to be the best parents to Little Man and doing what works for him. We are not parenting him based on what everyone else thinks we should or should not be doing with him.
After mulling this over and thinking things through, I am now just pissed. My bear claws are ready to swing at the first unfair comment or suggestion about how my little boy behaves or how we parent him. I know the view expressed in the card was colored by other people's opinions who have had very limited exposure to Little Man. It also hurts to know that our discussions over the years about Little Man's challenges, spoken in honesty and in moments of frustration, have colored people's view of him. And what hurts more is that view may not be changed, even with time, despite his best efforts or ours.
So my claws are sharpened and ready to defend my son. He is an amazing kid and I am sorry that some can not see past the surface; it is too bad because they are missing out.
One card we received had the usual greetings and well wishes. It also had some wonderful comments about the girls and how much of a pleasure they are. It also contained a comment about Little Man and how much of a challenge he is with the underlying message that he maybe is not as pleasant to be around. Knowing these people, I know logically the comment was benign and not meant to hurt… but it did, deeply.
My heart sunk with the thought that people have this view of my son. This is my underlying fear for Little Man… that people (family, friends, teachers, strangers) can not see past his behavior challenges to see the real soul that is there. He may not fit into everyone else's "proper little" 3.5 year old box, but that does not mean he should be written off or looked down on (or that we should be looked down on because we just can't seem to parent him properly to make him fit into some box or because someone thinks we have not taught him the word "no").
He is a soul that is smarter than most 3.5 year olds. He is a soul that is clever and funny. He is a soul that is very athletic. He is a soul that feels his emotions more than most. He is a soul that is strong in who he is. He is a soul that is not shy. He is a soul that is strong willed and stands by his position. He is a soul that cares for others. These are all qualities that most would argue will serve him well as an adult. I am learning as a parent that we should celebrate these characteristics instead of trying to squash them out of kids so they fit into some arbitrary box. My job as a parent is to create a box for him in today's society that fosters these qualities.
Little Man is a challenge, it is no secret. He has improved tremendously as he has gotten older. We are seeking expert advice in how to help him best. We are not idling sitting by watching and hoping things work out for the best. We are doing everything in our power to be the best parents to Little Man and doing what works for him. We are not parenting him based on what everyone else thinks we should or should not be doing with him.
After mulling this over and thinking things through, I am now just pissed. My bear claws are ready to swing at the first unfair comment or suggestion about how my little boy behaves or how we parent him. I know the view expressed in the card was colored by other people's opinions who have had very limited exposure to Little Man. It also hurts to know that our discussions over the years about Little Man's challenges, spoken in honesty and in moments of frustration, have colored people's view of him. And what hurts more is that view may not be changed, even with time, despite his best efforts or ours.
So my claws are sharpened and ready to defend my son. He is an amazing kid and I am sorry that some can not see past the surface; it is too bad because they are missing out.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Sweet
Who knew how sweet my Girl's Night Out (GNO) time would be? A group of five or six friends began meeting once a month about a year and half ago. The group has grown to eight and we have already lost one friend when she and her family moved to Iowa. We miss you A!
It all started with a friend of mine asking me and one other person to start this group, we each then thought of one or two friends and here we are 1.5 years later. The only criteria was that those that joined the group attended our church. The focus was on friendship and helping each other grow in our faith.
These women have become dear friends that have made me laugh, think and grow in my faith. We don't spend our time with our noses in the bible and praying. We talk about our families, kids, work, parenting and some other fun topics that I will not mention here. Wink, wink. But the underlying theme to our time together, at least for me, is supporting one another and helping us grow spiritually and as women, wife and Moms.
Last year at our December GNO, we talked about reading through the bible in a year together. And, for those that completed it by December 31, 2010, we would be rewarded with a GNO weekend away...just us, with no kids or responsibilities. This has been one of the most challenging things I have done for my faith. I have read parts of the bible, but never the whole thing. It has been an act of discipline for sure… it is very hard to keep on schedule with "life" getting in the way. And, I have 1.5 months to read by the end of the month. But, I will get it done. I made the commitment to the group and to myself. I can not say I am retaining it all, especially now that I am under the gun. But, it has been such a great experience, good for my kids to see me reading my bible and so nice to read scripture for myself instead of relying on a bible study or sermon to guide me.
I would have NEVER done this on my own. I would have never stuck with it without these ladies (and the thought of the weekend away!). It is amazing what a group of women who's only common denominator was attending the same church. While we are all in somewhat of the same stage of life with our families and kids, we are all different ages (hmmm, and yes, I am the oldest the bunch), different family backgrounds, education, faith experiences, etc.
These women as so special to me and it has been exciting to see our friendships grow and how much deeper we can share things that matter to us. No one judges, no one tries to one up each other. We just listen, support, laugh and share. So refreshing in this day and age.
So GNOs… if you are reading this, know that you mean the world to me. God Bless.
It all started with a friend of mine asking me and one other person to start this group, we each then thought of one or two friends and here we are 1.5 years later. The only criteria was that those that joined the group attended our church. The focus was on friendship and helping each other grow in our faith.
These women have become dear friends that have made me laugh, think and grow in my faith. We don't spend our time with our noses in the bible and praying. We talk about our families, kids, work, parenting and some other fun topics that I will not mention here. Wink, wink. But the underlying theme to our time together, at least for me, is supporting one another and helping us grow spiritually and as women, wife and Moms.
Last year at our December GNO, we talked about reading through the bible in a year together. And, for those that completed it by December 31, 2010, we would be rewarded with a GNO weekend away...just us, with no kids or responsibilities. This has been one of the most challenging things I have done for my faith. I have read parts of the bible, but never the whole thing. It has been an act of discipline for sure… it is very hard to keep on schedule with "life" getting in the way. And, I have 1.5 months to read by the end of the month. But, I will get it done. I made the commitment to the group and to myself. I can not say I am retaining it all, especially now that I am under the gun. But, it has been such a great experience, good for my kids to see me reading my bible and so nice to read scripture for myself instead of relying on a bible study or sermon to guide me.
I would have NEVER done this on my own. I would have never stuck with it without these ladies (and the thought of the weekend away!). It is amazing what a group of women who's only common denominator was attending the same church. While we are all in somewhat of the same stage of life with our families and kids, we are all different ages (hmmm, and yes, I am the oldest the bunch), different family backgrounds, education, faith experiences, etc.
These women as so special to me and it has been exciting to see our friendships grow and how much deeper we can share things that matter to us. No one judges, no one tries to one up each other. We just listen, support, laugh and share. So refreshing in this day and age.
So GNOs… if you are reading this, know that you mean the world to me. God Bless.
Friday, December 3, 2010
SAHM vs. WPTAHSM
Preface - This post is not a debate of the merits of being a working Mom or a stay at home Mom. Everyone makes their own decisions about what is best for themselves, their kids and their families. This are just my ramblings and not meant to offend, judge or sway anyone who may be in either camp.
I think it is safe to say that I am a working Mom now instead of a stay at home Mom, who works very part time. I guess I have to update my profile on my side bar some day. I am not sure how I feel about that… good in some ways and not so good in others.
I have gone from working one day a week for a total of about 7-10 hours for the last seven years to working five days a week for a total of about 27 hours. That is not full time by any means, but definitely those added hours have been an adjustment for the whole family.
The change has been a blessing on many fronts. First it has added income flow to the budget which has been very nice. It is nice to have some extra to decide what to do with. What a nice change. I think I can actually breathe just a little bit easier.
And the biggest blessing and one that was hidden from us when we made the decision, was how Little Man would benefit. He has truly done amazing. His new school is a perfect fit for him. They love him and see his unique talents. His class is smaller, more academically based and more structured which has served him well. He is very proud of all he accomplishes each day… writing letters, completing projects and learning bible based lessons. Just yesterday he was singing to himself in his raspy little boy voice, "God is good, God is good." Yes Little Man, he is! He other favorite is "Many, Many Blessings. Many, Many Blessings." While he is still having some behavior issues at school, he has done remarkably well with the transition.
The girls have struggled a little with the time that I am away now. They are having to manage themselves more and contribute more to the household duties. Those are all good things, but is has probably been more of an adjustment for them then I realized it would be. Overall, they are doing great though. They seem to get along well when they are together and have actually stepped up to the responsibility. Just yesterday, they decided on their own to dust, sweep, mop and vacuum the house. Their only assigned chore was to empty the dishwasher. Those are some good kids!
I guess the one that has had the hardest time transitioning is me. I want to be home, I like being home. And while I am not the best SAHM, I think it is so important. I posted about some of my struggles before. But, nonetheless, is makes me sad that I am not able to be home in that way any more.
It is funny… I think it is so important for my kids that I am home, knowing what is going on with them and that they are important and matter. But at the same time I also think it is important for kids to see their Mom work; doing something for herself and the family. I think kids need to know that the world does not revolve around them and their every need and interest catered to. The real world does not work that way and I think a false sense of entitlement can be created if Mom's are not careful. My kids have all benefited immensely from being in a positive daycare setting for many years; many kids miss out on that.
I guess after such a long time being mostly at home and doing most all the SAHM things, it is hard to think of myself any other way. What is ironic is that I have never been a full SAHM. I have always worked since I have had kids, from three days a week, to full time to one day a week. I am not sure why I have thought of myself as a SAHM all these years. But I have. A more accurate title for me over the years, and especially now, would be a WPTAHS or a Work Part Time at Home Some Mom. It is just hard to re-program my brain to view myself another way.
I feel out of the loop with friends. I have no time to myself without children around (this is the first year I was getting a little bit of time to myself when they were all in school, but is was very short lived). I still have all the responsibilities that I had before but less time to do it all in. And the biggest struggles is getting "it" all done without impacting the kids even more. Sigh.
Don't get me wrong. It is getting easier and I can not tell you how thankful I am that I am not working full time. I know I should be thankful and celebrate the fact that I seem to have the best of both worlds (did you hear the Hannah Montana song in your head there for a minute?). I have to start to recognize the benefits everyone is getting from this change and not focus so much on what everyone may be missing. Logically, I know I am not failing as a Mom by working more. I know that deep down, but it is struggle in my Mommy heart all the same.
I think it is safe to say that I am a working Mom now instead of a stay at home Mom, who works very part time. I guess I have to update my profile on my side bar some day. I am not sure how I feel about that… good in some ways and not so good in others.
I have gone from working one day a week for a total of about 7-10 hours for the last seven years to working five days a week for a total of about 27 hours. That is not full time by any means, but definitely those added hours have been an adjustment for the whole family.
The change has been a blessing on many fronts. First it has added income flow to the budget which has been very nice. It is nice to have some extra to decide what to do with. What a nice change. I think I can actually breathe just a little bit easier.
And the biggest blessing and one that was hidden from us when we made the decision, was how Little Man would benefit. He has truly done amazing. His new school is a perfect fit for him. They love him and see his unique talents. His class is smaller, more academically based and more structured which has served him well. He is very proud of all he accomplishes each day… writing letters, completing projects and learning bible based lessons. Just yesterday he was singing to himself in his raspy little boy voice, "God is good, God is good." Yes Little Man, he is! He other favorite is "Many, Many Blessings. Many, Many Blessings." While he is still having some behavior issues at school, he has done remarkably well with the transition.
The girls have struggled a little with the time that I am away now. They are having to manage themselves more and contribute more to the household duties. Those are all good things, but is has probably been more of an adjustment for them then I realized it would be. Overall, they are doing great though. They seem to get along well when they are together and have actually stepped up to the responsibility. Just yesterday, they decided on their own to dust, sweep, mop and vacuum the house. Their only assigned chore was to empty the dishwasher. Those are some good kids!
I guess the one that has had the hardest time transitioning is me. I want to be home, I like being home. And while I am not the best SAHM, I think it is so important. I posted about some of my struggles before. But, nonetheless, is makes me sad that I am not able to be home in that way any more.
It is funny… I think it is so important for my kids that I am home, knowing what is going on with them and that they are important and matter. But at the same time I also think it is important for kids to see their Mom work; doing something for herself and the family. I think kids need to know that the world does not revolve around them and their every need and interest catered to. The real world does not work that way and I think a false sense of entitlement can be created if Mom's are not careful. My kids have all benefited immensely from being in a positive daycare setting for many years; many kids miss out on that.
I guess after such a long time being mostly at home and doing most all the SAHM things, it is hard to think of myself any other way. What is ironic is that I have never been a full SAHM. I have always worked since I have had kids, from three days a week, to full time to one day a week. I am not sure why I have thought of myself as a SAHM all these years. But I have. A more accurate title for me over the years, and especially now, would be a WPTAHS or a Work Part Time at Home Some Mom. It is just hard to re-program my brain to view myself another way.
I feel out of the loop with friends. I have no time to myself without children around (this is the first year I was getting a little bit of time to myself when they were all in school, but is was very short lived). I still have all the responsibilities that I had before but less time to do it all in. And the biggest struggles is getting "it" all done without impacting the kids even more. Sigh.
Don't get me wrong. It is getting easier and I can not tell you how thankful I am that I am not working full time. I know I should be thankful and celebrate the fact that I seem to have the best of both worlds (did you hear the Hannah Montana song in your head there for a minute?). I have to start to recognize the benefits everyone is getting from this change and not focus so much on what everyone may be missing. Logically, I know I am not failing as a Mom by working more. I know that deep down, but it is struggle in my Mommy heart all the same.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Birthday Post
My oldest child turned 11 last week. It is hard to believe I have been a Mom for over a decade. And even harder to believe is that my first born is so old. How can that be?
Soccer Girl is an amazing kid. She is wise beyond her years and always has been. She is my worrier… I have taken to calling her Wart, as in worry wart. She worries over us getting speeding tickets, over a sound she hears outside…she worries about being late anywhere we go. She Hates. Being. Late. While her worrying seems unreasonable at times, it is only because she cares.
She has a huge heart. Last year on our Christmas cards, I wrote that she has a "quiet heart" for God. She is my kid who silently prays when we see a homeless person or upon hearing about someone who has been hurt or is sick. She prays for her friends and family that do not know Jesus and worries (again my wart) that they will not be in heaven with her. I could certainly take a lesson or two from her.
I am so proud of her. She is a good student, a good friend and a good sister. While Lizard and Little Man drive her crazy, especially now that she has hit the "tween" years, she loves them and looks out for them.
I can foresee the upcoming years are going to have some rough patches ahead for the two of us. But, I will do my best to carve out that special time she craves and let her know through my actions (it is true that they speak louder than words) that she means the world to me and that no matter what, I am proud and love her beyond words.
Happy Birthday Sweet Girl. I Love You.
Soccer Girl is an amazing kid. She is wise beyond her years and always has been. She is my worrier… I have taken to calling her Wart, as in worry wart. She worries over us getting speeding tickets, over a sound she hears outside…she worries about being late anywhere we go. She Hates. Being. Late. While her worrying seems unreasonable at times, it is only because she cares.
She has a huge heart. Last year on our Christmas cards, I wrote that she has a "quiet heart" for God. She is my kid who silently prays when we see a homeless person or upon hearing about someone who has been hurt or is sick. She prays for her friends and family that do not know Jesus and worries (again my wart) that they will not be in heaven with her. I could certainly take a lesson or two from her.
I am so proud of her. She is a good student, a good friend and a good sister. While Lizard and Little Man drive her crazy, especially now that she has hit the "tween" years, she loves them and looks out for them.
I can foresee the upcoming years are going to have some rough patches ahead for the two of us. But, I will do my best to carve out that special time she craves and let her know through my actions (it is true that they speak louder than words) that she means the world to me and that no matter what, I am proud and love her beyond words.
Happy Birthday Sweet Girl. I Love You.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
It Has Been Awhile...
I can not believe I have not posted anything since the beginning of September. It has been a crazy few months with lots of changes for us.
The biggest change is that I started another part time job! It was one of the first resumes I sent out and I got the job. It was truly a "careful what you wish for" type of feeling. I can not believe with how many people out there looking for work right now, I got it. I feel very blessed. It is part time Monday-Friday in the mornings only…. I am back home by 1 o'clock. Mondays are long though since I moved my other part time job to the afternoon. And also on Monday I do my third part time job after the kids go to sleep. But overall, I like the people and the job. I am using my brain which is a very good thing. And, it has added a cushion to our budget which was the desired result.
It is funny, the hardest thing I struggled with was having to move Little Man from his preschool to a whole new day care/preschool set up. He did really well with his old preschool teacher despite how much of a challenge he could be. I could have pieced together care for him during the week and keep him there, but he would have had four different care givers during the week. And that would have only been through the end of the year. That was not going to work on many levels, but most importantly, it was not fair to him to shuttle him around so much. So we made the decision to make a complete change.
It has been the best move for him. He LOVES his new preschool and teacher. Just yesterday when I picked him up, we were walking out to the car and he said "I just love this place." Oh Little Man, I do too! While he has had some difficulties, he has not seemed to struggle with behaving like he did at his old preschool. They see how smart he is and what a sense of humor he has. They see him positively, not negatively. I so need to hear that when it comes to my Little Man.
Since I pick him up after all the other kids that are still there have gone down for rest/nap time, he has to sit at a table and quietly play and wait for me. I thought this would be a big negative. But it has turned out to be wonderful for him. He is getting about 30-40 minutes of one on one time with a teacher, sometimes two! He is coloring, practicing his letter and using flash cards.
And, he is at a home daycare on Mondays with a wonderful loving, Christian women from our church. He can snuggle on the couch if he needs too. And, she also does formalized preschool activities with the kids so he is getting five days a week of "education." Fabulous.
The girls are enjoying their new found responsibility of getting themselves to school. They have worked together well and Soccer Girl has really stepped up to look out for Lizard. They have surprised me. They are doing the chores I leave for them and getting their reading done all before school. Yah for responsible children!
It is funny how everything fell into place and the timing of it all. The location, the hours, Little Man's care, the girls stepping up...The answer to prayer is not lost on me.
The other fun thing that has happened is the number of photography jobs I have gotten. I have done five senior portraits sessions in the last three months and have a family session coming up this weekend. I love it! I has been hard to balance the time commitment it takes in editing the photos with all that has been going on. But it really has been fun. I see my photography as a fun creative outlet for me, a much needed service for people looking for good affordable photographs (did you know that senior pictures can cost upwards of a $1000… can you believe someone would pay that and that someone would have the nerve to charge that?!) and something that earns us some extra spending money. A win-win-win!
As I am getting use to the new schedule, I think I will be back to posting more often. I have lots rattling around in my brain that I think needs to be written… thoughts on working more and how that impacts me and how I view myself as a Mom, updates on Little Man, making things a priority that should be…. lots in my brain. I am feeling a little less frazzled so I think I can begin to formulate my thoughts so I can document this time. After all, the name of my blog is "simply capturing life" so I should do that, capture our life.
The biggest change is that I started another part time job! It was one of the first resumes I sent out and I got the job. It was truly a "careful what you wish for" type of feeling. I can not believe with how many people out there looking for work right now, I got it. I feel very blessed. It is part time Monday-Friday in the mornings only…. I am back home by 1 o'clock. Mondays are long though since I moved my other part time job to the afternoon. And also on Monday I do my third part time job after the kids go to sleep. But overall, I like the people and the job. I am using my brain which is a very good thing. And, it has added a cushion to our budget which was the desired result.
It is funny, the hardest thing I struggled with was having to move Little Man from his preschool to a whole new day care/preschool set up. He did really well with his old preschool teacher despite how much of a challenge he could be. I could have pieced together care for him during the week and keep him there, but he would have had four different care givers during the week. And that would have only been through the end of the year. That was not going to work on many levels, but most importantly, it was not fair to him to shuttle him around so much. So we made the decision to make a complete change.
It has been the best move for him. He LOVES his new preschool and teacher. Just yesterday when I picked him up, we were walking out to the car and he said "I just love this place." Oh Little Man, I do too! While he has had some difficulties, he has not seemed to struggle with behaving like he did at his old preschool. They see how smart he is and what a sense of humor he has. They see him positively, not negatively. I so need to hear that when it comes to my Little Man.
Since I pick him up after all the other kids that are still there have gone down for rest/nap time, he has to sit at a table and quietly play and wait for me. I thought this would be a big negative. But it has turned out to be wonderful for him. He is getting about 30-40 minutes of one on one time with a teacher, sometimes two! He is coloring, practicing his letter and using flash cards.
And, he is at a home daycare on Mondays with a wonderful loving, Christian women from our church. He can snuggle on the couch if he needs too. And, she also does formalized preschool activities with the kids so he is getting five days a week of "education." Fabulous.
The girls are enjoying their new found responsibility of getting themselves to school. They have worked together well and Soccer Girl has really stepped up to look out for Lizard. They have surprised me. They are doing the chores I leave for them and getting their reading done all before school. Yah for responsible children!
It is funny how everything fell into place and the timing of it all. The location, the hours, Little Man's care, the girls stepping up...The answer to prayer is not lost on me.
The other fun thing that has happened is the number of photography jobs I have gotten. I have done five senior portraits sessions in the last three months and have a family session coming up this weekend. I love it! I has been hard to balance the time commitment it takes in editing the photos with all that has been going on. But it really has been fun. I see my photography as a fun creative outlet for me, a much needed service for people looking for good affordable photographs (did you know that senior pictures can cost upwards of a $1000… can you believe someone would pay that and that someone would have the nerve to charge that?!) and something that earns us some extra spending money. A win-win-win!
As I am getting use to the new schedule, I think I will be back to posting more often. I have lots rattling around in my brain that I think needs to be written… thoughts on working more and how that impacts me and how I view myself as a Mom, updates on Little Man, making things a priority that should be…. lots in my brain. I am feeling a little less frazzled so I think I can begin to formulate my thoughts so I can document this time. After all, the name of my blog is "simply capturing life" so I should do that, capture our life.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Start of Another School Year
All three kids started school yesterday. Backpacks were ready and lunches made the night before (we have turned their lunch making responsibility over to the girls – yahoo!). Clothes picked out, baths and all were asleep early. We were ready! I took the obligatory photos in the morning on our front porch, in front of the bush with yellow flowers, in front of the hydrangeas, and the stairs with the backpacks. Soccer girl has it down by now, directly the other two where to go next. Little Man cooperated and I got some fun shots of the three of them. Such a great day and a bittersweet one too.
Soccer girl started 5th grade… her last year in elementary school. She seemed very nervous, but excited to start the year. She has always been my worrier and wears her emotions on her sleeve. I hope for a challenging year for her that prepares her for middle school… academically, socially and emotionally. And, I am just saying, but the kids in her class look so big. I swear there was one boy who was a tall as me. I am ready for this, but on the other hand, I am so NOT ready for this.
Lizard started 2nd grade. She was a trooper and eased into her class. She was quiet from nerves, but also very confident. I think Lizard will do well as she leaves the ease of first grade. She is eager to do big girl things and hopefully this will be the year she comes onto her own and matures. She is looking forward to getting homework. Hopefully second grade will meet her expectations.
Little Man started 3’s preschool. He was so excited, wearing his backpack and carrying his lunch box even when walking the girls to their school. He did well and other than telling me he did not want me to go, he seemed to be having fun. I was able to leave and sneak around and watch him. I am curious to see what this year brings for him.
Since I am stealing this from a friend’s facebook post I can not claim any brilliance in writing it, but I think it sums up my wish for my kids this year…
May you find a friend that likes you because you are nice, not because you are cool. May you have a teacher that makes you eager to learn, not just eager to please. May you treat all your peers equal, not just the one’s that you want to impress. May your year be blessed and your memories rich.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
I Want a Cracker!
We are on week two of a gluten and dairy free diet for Little Man and Lizard. We took Little Man for food sensitivity testing and his wheat (whole wheat, spelt and gluten) and dairy (whey and casein) were high. Not off the charts allergic, but high enough to warrant a go at it to see if eliminating gluten and/or dairy would help with his behavior and his eczema. We are also following this for Lizard to see if we can pinpoint the cause of her ongoing stomach aches, which to date we have not been able to figure out.
It has been a challenge for sure. Not insurmountable, but a challenge. And very expensive. We eat an above average diet – not the healthiest out there for sure, but far better than many people. Even with that, it has been interesting to try to come up with alternatives to our normal choices. You can’t just grab a bag of goldfish crackers to fill the kids up. There are gluten/dairy free alternatives, but one box for $4.00 is the size of one snack – for one kid - maybe! Plus it is a challenge to find items the kids will eat. It has been some trial an error but we are making our way.
We started out thinking the whole family would follow it. But due to cost and the impact on our food budget, we are only following it strictly for the two kids. It is maddening that alternative foods… organic…gluten free… or whatever… are so much more expensive. It is actually ridiculous that I just referred to it as “alternative” because the general public should be eating THIS food, not the processed, chemical filled “food” the food industry shoves down our throats through coupons and cheap options. The more I learn, the angrier I get. It cuts to the core when I have to make a food choice based on cost and not on what is the healthiest choice.
In the end, I am not sure eliminating dairy and/or gluten will make much difference for Little Man. I guess I am hopeful that it will have a positive impact in improving his behavior; but skeptical at this point. Maybe I am reaching for something to “blame” for his actions, his defiance and his difficult nature. I know I must explore all the possibilities for my kids to be successful and provide that to the best of my ability. At the same time, it is hard to swallow that Little Man’s behavior might not improve despite our best efforts. I hate that he might be labeled the difficult kid… the trouble maker… the one that the other parents roll their eyes at and talk about. We have already had a small taste of it.
What I want people to see is that he is so full of life, funny and smart. He is amazing. He is athletic, runs faster than any kid I know and has a smile that lights up a room. He says the funniest things (like just the other day telling Soccer Girl, “hey you have polka dots on your face” referring to her freckles, as if she didn’t know!). I think people can see it a lot of the times when there is no structure and he is free to play on his own and on his own terms. But if structure or directions are involved, it is not as visible.
One of the other things Chief and I have talked about is our role as parents in his behavior. There is cause and effect in most things in life… when we react a certain way to Little Man’s behavior it can cause him to react a certain way. We are trying to monitor our reactions. I know there are times when I have escalated his negative behavior due to my reaction. It is funny, people say by waiting to have kids until you are older, you are more mature and can handle the ups and downs better. Maybe so, but I have found I have less patience and am more tired than I was when had my other two and was "younger." My challenge is to be calm, quiet and thoughtful in my responses.
We will keep plugging away at things for our Little Man. He deserve that. I know there is purpose for this struggle even if I can't see it right now.
“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
It has been a challenge for sure. Not insurmountable, but a challenge. And very expensive. We eat an above average diet – not the healthiest out there for sure, but far better than many people. Even with that, it has been interesting to try to come up with alternatives to our normal choices. You can’t just grab a bag of goldfish crackers to fill the kids up. There are gluten/dairy free alternatives, but one box for $4.00 is the size of one snack – for one kid - maybe! Plus it is a challenge to find items the kids will eat. It has been some trial an error but we are making our way.
We started out thinking the whole family would follow it. But due to cost and the impact on our food budget, we are only following it strictly for the two kids. It is maddening that alternative foods… organic…gluten free… or whatever… are so much more expensive. It is actually ridiculous that I just referred to it as “alternative” because the general public should be eating THIS food, not the processed, chemical filled “food” the food industry shoves down our throats through coupons and cheap options. The more I learn, the angrier I get. It cuts to the core when I have to make a food choice based on cost and not on what is the healthiest choice.
In the end, I am not sure eliminating dairy and/or gluten will make much difference for Little Man. I guess I am hopeful that it will have a positive impact in improving his behavior; but skeptical at this point. Maybe I am reaching for something to “blame” for his actions, his defiance and his difficult nature. I know I must explore all the possibilities for my kids to be successful and provide that to the best of my ability. At the same time, it is hard to swallow that Little Man’s behavior might not improve despite our best efforts. I hate that he might be labeled the difficult kid… the trouble maker… the one that the other parents roll their eyes at and talk about. We have already had a small taste of it.
What I want people to see is that he is so full of life, funny and smart. He is amazing. He is athletic, runs faster than any kid I know and has a smile that lights up a room. He says the funniest things (like just the other day telling Soccer Girl, “hey you have polka dots on your face” referring to her freckles, as if she didn’t know!). I think people can see it a lot of the times when there is no structure and he is free to play on his own and on his own terms. But if structure or directions are involved, it is not as visible.
One of the other things Chief and I have talked about is our role as parents in his behavior. There is cause and effect in most things in life… when we react a certain way to Little Man’s behavior it can cause him to react a certain way. We are trying to monitor our reactions. I know there are times when I have escalated his negative behavior due to my reaction. It is funny, people say by waiting to have kids until you are older, you are more mature and can handle the ups and downs better. Maybe so, but I have found I have less patience and am more tired than I was when had my other two and was "younger." My challenge is to be calm, quiet and thoughtful in my responses.
We will keep plugging away at things for our Little Man. He deserve that. I know there is purpose for this struggle even if I can't see it right now.
“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Sunday, August 15, 2010
It is Hard to Grow Up
This summer has been a whirlwind... I am actually not looking forward to school starting... just yet. Usually I am ready for school to be back in session a few weeks after the kids get out, but not this summer. And, I am not sure exactly why.
Maybe I know I will have to be earnest in my job search (although I am coming around to the idea of working more and have put out a few feelers already). Maybe I know now that the grind of making lunches gets old by about day three. Maybe it is because my youngest is starting preschool (how can that be?). Maybe because we have not had as much arguing this summer as last summer (still lots of bickering, but not as much or is it that I am getting immune to it?). I think maybe the main reason is that my oldest is starting her last year of elementary school.
Her little kid days are very numbered and I realize that. The things she wants to do, the discussions she wants to have, the questions she asks are not little kids things any more for the most part. Soccer girl has always been mature for her age and very observant of life and things going on around her. We have even had to have the “birds and the bees talk” with her well over a year ago when she was 9 or so because the subject came up among her friends. Bless Chief’s “Dad of a Daughter” heart when he initially told her to wait and we would talk about it when they saw the “movie” in school. Can’t get away with waiting that long in this day and age. And the wonder of Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are long out of the bag. Sigh.
The age span between my kids has been very evident this summer. What entertains a 3 year old does not really entertain a 10.5 year old. The most recent example was last week when I told the kids we were meeting friends at the park (where she is the oldest kid in the group), “we are going to a park, really do we have to?” Kids want to play at the park, for pete sakes... right?
It is a struggle to let Soccer Girl do things, while Lizard pouts because she does not get to do all that fun stuff. It is hard for a seven year old to be the one who is told no all the time. Soon her circle will expand, but not soon enough for her.
So I am letting the last few weeks of summer unfold, buying school supplies and a few new clothes. The last few play dates and sleepovers have been scheduled. It is hard for kids to grow up these days, but I think it is even harder for this Mom to let them grow up.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
I Won!
Wow! I won a blog giveaway! I am much more of a blog lurker... very rarely do I comment on blogs, even my favorite ones. I commented on a whim to enter the drawing for an t-shirt from Uncommonly Cute.
Well, imagine my surprise when at a soccer tournament (sitting out in the blazing hot sun), I got an email that I won. It made my day.
Thanks Katie for the giveaway. Read Katie over at Intentionally Katie... one of my favorite blogs and daily reads!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Six Simple Words
The girls have fairly large white boards in their new rooms. They love to play school all the time and use them a lot. Money well spent if you are pondering getting one. One of the fun outcomes of having those boards is our nightly ritual of writing something on each board before the kids go to bed. Sometime I write; sometimes Chief writes… sometimes both… sometimes the girls write to each other. The girls love to read what we wrote before they go to bed or when they wake up, if we do it after they are asleep. It has been a really easy way to encourage them, give advice, joke, practice math facts or whatever. They love it and we do too!
One night a few weeks ago I wrote on Soccer Girl's board. She was really tired from lots of activities – soccer practice, speed and agility training (holy smokes!), play dates, a sleep over and a soccer tournament. She was a little overwhelmed and just plain exhausted. I wrote a few things and then wrote…”remember to rest, read, play, pray, listen and love this week”. I had not started out writing with those thoughts in my mind, but as I wrote rest and read (trying to encourage her to lay low and not be on the go so much), the other words just flowed out of my hand… to the lime green marker I was using… to the white board.
Now several weeks later, those six words are still on her board, written up in a corner in small print. I noticed the other day that she had now underlined them. I have thought of those six words a lot since then. I think they are brilliant, if I do say so myself. Each is so simple in meaning, but has so much impact.
Rest… everyone needs true rest from life’s busyness; time to themselves, just for themselves.
Read… there is so much to learn, adventures to take and humor in books. So much can be gained by making time to read.
Play… taking the time to truly play and enjoy life does a lot for your mind and body.
Pray… so much peace and focus comes from praying.
Listen… we all can learn so much more if we stop talking and stop our brains to just listen to others.
Love… how much better would this world be if we let others know how much we love them? Show them with your actions and words (and the thoughts in your head).
So while I may have written those six words down for my daughter, I think I also wrote those six words for myself. Words to live by…six simple words.
One night a few weeks ago I wrote on Soccer Girl's board. She was really tired from lots of activities – soccer practice, speed and agility training (holy smokes!), play dates, a sleep over and a soccer tournament. She was a little overwhelmed and just plain exhausted. I wrote a few things and then wrote…”remember to rest, read, play, pray, listen and love this week”. I had not started out writing with those thoughts in my mind, but as I wrote rest and read (trying to encourage her to lay low and not be on the go so much), the other words just flowed out of my hand… to the lime green marker I was using… to the white board.
Now several weeks later, those six words are still on her board, written up in a corner in small print. I noticed the other day that she had now underlined them. I have thought of those six words a lot since then. I think they are brilliant, if I do say so myself. Each is so simple in meaning, but has so much impact.
Rest… everyone needs true rest from life’s busyness; time to themselves, just for themselves.
Read… there is so much to learn, adventures to take and humor in books. So much can be gained by making time to read.
Play… taking the time to truly play and enjoy life does a lot for your mind and body.
Pray… so much peace and focus comes from praying.
Listen… we all can learn so much more if we stop talking and stop our brains to just listen to others.
Love… how much better would this world be if we let others know how much we love them? Show them with your actions and words (and the thoughts in your head).
So while I may have written those six words down for my daughter, I think I also wrote those six words for myself. Words to live by…six simple words.
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